How to Forgive

One evening I went to the ATM for lunch money.

The next day when I went to pay for lunch my wallet was empty.

I was confused. I know I went to the bank, so where’s my money?

I checked on the night stand that evening – no money.

I couldn’t find it anywhere.

I finally realized that I had dreamed the trip to the ATM.

It was very vivid – hard to tell from reality, other than the fact that there was no money, I couldn’t tell.

There are a lot of things I dreamed where I am not sure I dreamed them or they were real.

I went to the doctor for allergy tests and discovered I have a dust allergy. I remember going.

That was 10 years ago or so, I think. Maybe that was a dream too – every bit as vivid as the ATM trip.

I can’t remember now. Maybe I don’t have allergies and I’m just making it up because of a dream.

I CHOOSE to believe that my trip to the doctor was a dream and I don’t have allergies.

Oooooo – my allergies are gone!

Maybe the abuse I experienced was just a vivid nightmare.

Maybe I got the physical scars from falling out of a tree, cutting myself on the branches as I fell,

And I don’t remember the fall ‘cause I hit my head.

Now I’m confused… The abuse seemed so very real.

But now I’m not sure… did I make it up?

But it seems so real.

I’m not sure.

Sometimes when I wake up from a nightmare my heart is pounding and I’m very upset.

But it’s OK once I realize I was just dreaming.

But the abuse seemed so real…

But in this moment I’m not sure.

I CHOOSE that it was a dream, very vivid, hard to tell from what’s real, maybe impossible to tell.

But still it’s a dream and I let go of it.

And forgive myself for thinking it was real and for sending so much negative energy to those in the dream.

And I am healed.

Ramron

October 17, 2000